Dating again after a break up
"The only way to tell is to be honest with yourself regarding your feelings over your ex." How over them are you, really?"If you are 100 percent — or even 75 percent — over them, it's safe to date," Rogers says."Yet since everything is an inside job, it’s wise to continuing learning from the last relationship, grieving the loss and pain that came up as a result of what happened.
While some thought it's best to get right back in there, others really maintained that giving yourself a lot of time and space — two to three months for every year you were together with your last partner, for example — is the smartest and most honest way to go, especially if you really want to be emotionally prepared for your next relationship.
"Too much baggage from the past that you're still holding on to doesn't portend good things for a new relationship." You don't want to bring those bags into something new — so give it some time and space."While I think that being social is good immediately, I think dating is for those who are not seeking to be fulfilled but to share, and can do so without any memory that is bitter of the past," zen psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva tells Bustle.
If you're out there looking for a love fix and you're harboring angry feelings from your last relationship, that's what you're putting out there."If you bring anger, sadness or victimization into a new relationship, "Six months to a year – depending on the length of time that you were dating," author and relationship expert Alexis Nicole White tells Bustle.
Taking a more clinical approach to the whole thing, White adds that there is a formula that you can keep in mind as a good rule of thumb if you want something more specific.
"Theoretically, I would give two to three months for every year you all were together to process the loss of a relationship, grieve and pick yourself back up," she says.